My system has gotten used to the combination of Abilify and Lexapro. I no longer feel like I'm on speed... and I miss it. Of course I do, I'm an addict. I want to feel any way other than normal. Even if that means feeling like my heart is going to jump out of my chest and run away screaming in terror. To my addicted brain, that beats normal.
I remind myself, the point of the medicine is to feel not depressed, not high. And with that conscious reminder I get off the addicted path, back onto God's path.
I may miss feeling strung out for a little while, though. I keep hoping for a little buzz. A legal buzz, because I'm still taking everything as prescribed.
It's OK, though. I will surf this wave. It was a good reminder that addiction is never cured.
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